No couch, no drama. Just hands-on tools.
Many men and couples put off the first step for years – afraid of awkward silence or complicated psychology. What they tend to miss: the problem is almost never where it first appears to be. Not a deficiency, not a malfunction. A pattern – one that crept in at some point. And one that can change.
I don’t work in the distant past, but in the here and now – on your body, your dynamic as a couple, and the language you find for each other.
The three pillars of my work
Systemic Thinking: Patterns, Not Diagnoses
As a systemic therapist, I don’t make diagnoses. I ask questions: When does the pattern show up? What happens right before – and right after? And how does that connect to what’s currently going on in your daily life or between you?
No problem exists in a vacuum. Erection pressure, low desire, the silence in bed – these always arise within a context. That’s exactly where I start: not at the apparent malfunction, but at the pattern that keeps it going.
The Right Tool for You
I don't work to a fixed template. Depending on what's going on with you, I draw on different tools: body-oriented methods like Sexocorporel when it's about arousal, breathing, and tension. Work on self-worth when performance anxiety and self-image are connected. And whatever else my systemic training has to offer.
Sexuality isn't an innate ability that simply works – or doesn't. It's learnable. How do you breathe in the moment pressure sets in? How does your pelvic muscle tension shift when your head gets too loud? This connection between nervous system, breath, and arousal isn't theory – it's something you can physically feel. And change.
What all these paths share: you'll get concrete homework – structured exercises for home. Modeled on the principle of Sensate Focus¹, we take orgasm and performance pressure off the table. The goal: that you experience yourself as capable again – in bed and beyond.
¹ Sensate Focus: A sex therapy concept by Masters & Johnson, introduced in “Human Sexual Inadequacy” (1970).
Language That Actually Lands
I look at both: the pattern that emerges and the fear underneath it. For that I combine systemic sex therapy as developed by Prof. Dr. Ulrich Clement with elements of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) by Sue Johnson – with couples and in individual work alike.
The way out begins with language – precise, shame-free, without accusation. That can be learned. And it changes more than any technique.
These three layers – recognizing patterns, training the body, finding language – don’t work one after another, but together. That’s exactly what sets this apart from pure talk therapy or pure bodywork.
“Every session ends with one concrete next step.”
The first step is easier than you think.
A free 15-minute phone call – no obligation, fully discreet, no mandatory fields.
Book an appointment nowOr drop me a line: kontakt@simon-mann.de